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Author Topic: Do couples seem to bicker more often while on the road?  (Read 197 times)
BandD
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« on: June 14, 2014, 11:14:32 am »

Hi Folks,

The article wasn't written about RVing,but it reminded us to relax and adapt.
It's by Mick LaSalle, the movie critic in the San Francisco Chronicle, here:
http://blog.sfgate.com/mlasalle/2014/06/13/why-couples-bicker-on-vacation/

Excerpts:

Heres the real reason why couples fight on vacation:  If youre in a long-term
relationship in which you live with another person, every aspect of your life,
from the alarm clock until bedtime, has already been negotiated.  It might not
have seemed like a negotiation at the time, because it wasnt formal, but it
was a negotiation all the same.  Who gets up first, who makes coffee, who throws
out the garbage, who cooks, who feeds the animals, who walks the dog, who
cleans the cat box, who washes the clothes, who folds the clothes, what movies
are watched, who drives the kids, who picks up the kids, what items can be
bought without consulting the other (e.g., a pair of pants) and what items
cannot be bought without consulting the other (e.g., a car).

In virtually every live together relationship, there is one person who locks the
doors before bed and another who just goes right to sleep.  And this will be the
pattern for decades.  It will never change.

...
So suddenly all the implicit negotiations are irrelevant and they find themselves
in the realm of active negotiation.  And so theyre annoyed and cant believe they
have to go through this, just to do a simple thing like eat at the hotels breakfast
buffet, etc.

Part of the way to NOT argue, I think, is to recognize where you are, which is
uncharted territory.  If you realize that you really do have to negotiate everything,
because thats the nature of going to a brand new place, you will have more patience
with the other person and not feel like its such a big imposition to make your case.

We really enjoyed this.  Does it resonate for anyone?

Bill
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Bill Cox and Diane Puntenney
Denny & Barb
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« Reply #1 on: June 15, 2014, 12:23:28 am »

Good thread as our kids have asked us the same.  We, meaning, Barb and I, tell them yes.  Then we say... BUT, we soon realize that we both know what trips each others wire.  And really, do we ever gain or win any prize by tripping their wire??  After all, we have been married a few decades.  So we come to the conclusion that really, this is a fallen world, and if we think our spouse should be perfect, well then, HOW about myself?  And Wow that hits me right between the eyes.

An RV is a confined unit.  We are living much closer to our God given spouse.  We... Need to be patient an loving, caring spouses to make this work!  Right? 

So, for Barb and I, this has brought us closer, closer than ever together, in our 45 years together.  Thanks PC!

That's our story, and were sticking to it.  It works for us.  We spend 3 months winter and maybe one month in our PC throughout the year.
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Your Word or Lord is a light to my feet and a lantern to my path...  Ps 119
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